Friday, November 1, 2013

I'm Single, Not Divorced, and why must you know, Ms. Nosy Parker?!

I must confess that up until recently, I did not pay much attention or care about personal data that are required for so many standard forms: medical documents, school forms, intake information. I have to admit the recent addition of the option - to the effect that 'one prefer not to answer' or share one's gender - to most forms rather intriguing. If we're being so nebulous about our gender(s), does this option extend to other facets of our lives, such as our status?

If a person was once married but is no longer married, must that person be widowed or divorced? Why can't that person be 'single'? Or why can't that person 'prefer not to answer'?

If you must feel so inclined to know a person's status that you will not sleep at night until I tell you, I was once married, but my marriage was deemed 'irretrievably broken' by relevant parties; and I am no longer married.

Does one sleep better knowing that I could not make my marriage work?

Maybe a person can then easily categorize me as 'one of those.' I had a chance at marriage, and I didn't make it work. Something big, for which I was at least partially responsible, failed. Was the marriage irretrievably broken because interest in the relationship was lost or the 'feelings' of love were gone? Or was something else at stake? An affair? Addiction? What?!

Will knowing my particular status better your life in some way or will it simply satisfy your curiosity?

If knowing will improve your life, then there is much more to know than my specific status. If the latter, sit down and have some coffee or tea with me, and we will talk.

But for now, I am "single."

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