A huge theme this month is thankfulness and gratitude. I really need to keep that in mind today, as I am worn out, discouraged, utterly exhausted, very sleepy.
The twins turned two years old at the beginning of last month. But, the twins, especially the girl twin, started asserting her autonomy with determination sooner than later. It takes so much longer to get out the door these days, building in an extra 20-30 minutes into an already lengthy preparation process when four small children are involved. A typical day in my life is super hectic, and too many crazy busy days can wear me down. But, I do not think that has had me in tears. I suppose this past Friday might have been the straw that broke the camel's back. After picking up the girls from school and dropping by Whole Foods with all four, I got the twins on their potties and gave them their last table food meal, while I helped my eldest (7 yrs old) practice violin and listened to my second eldest share talk. I had decided earlier in the day I would give the children baths. The twins had both peed in their potties. While rushing to get things and people ready for bathing, the twins both pooped on the floor. Good thing baths were in my plan - I had to clean poop off the floor, wash the bath mat, clean poop of Christian's knees.
I am exhausted, and I am not certain of the particular reason(s). Perhaps having jam-packed days takes its toll on me. Maybe the impending drastic change in weather has something to do with it. The time change?
***What I really want to focus on at this moment is: I am so thankful for these 25 month old twins of mine, tantrums and over-the-top autonomy assertions and all. I was blessed with an uneventful, uncomplicated twin pregnancy. I carried the twins to the full-term of 38 1/2 weeks. I had very good births and deliveries with the twins, where everything I could ask for was bestowed upon me: I was able to have both twins vaginally and naturally (without drugs), without complications, my doula was able to be present. I was able to nurse the twins and am still nursing them. The twins or any children beyond my first two children were not planned. News of my pregnancy came at a difficult time in my life and marriage, during which I asked my husband to leave our home for serious issues that impacted safety.
But, given the smoothness of the (twin) pregnancy, the wonderful support around us, the prayers made on our behalf, the wonders of the twins' deliveries, the ease in raising the twins in the first two years, I am very, very thankful.